




















































































THE GLOVES. 


A COMEDY DRAMA IN THREE ACTS. 



Bangor Commercial Print. 
i895 



P5 3 5^7 
. ET ^z, G& 


Copyright, 1895, by Nate A. Tefft. 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 


« € 






71CLA- 


CHARACTERS. 

PHINEAS STUBBS, D. D., in the pulpit, and an advocate 

of the pugilistic reform. 

JACK DELLFORD, an easy going nephew of the doctor’s 

wife, and a late graduate of Harvard College. 

DICK MASON, Jack’s college friend. 

PROF. WADE, a typical master of boxing. 

WILLIAM O’GRADY, the old family butler. 

MRS. DR. STUBBS, a devoted wife, who is more of an 

associate for the young than the old. 

BELLE ASHTON, engaged to Jack Dellford and visiting 
at Lakeside. 

ROSE DELLFORD, Jack’s young sister, who has a queer 

heart for Mr. Mason... 

BIDDY, a maid servant. 

Hostlers, Footmen, etc. 


Synopsis of Acts. 

Scene Laid in Suburbs of London. 

ACT I —Drawing-room at Lakeside. Time, noon-day. 

(A lapse of three days between first and second acts.) 

ACT II —Scene I—Dr. Stubbs’ study at Lakeside, 6 o’clock in the even 
ing. Scene II—On the street one hour later. Scene III—Buxton Clubroom. 
ACT III—Drawing-room at Lakeside same night. 



















































THE GLOYES 


ACT I. 

(Scene —Should represent drawing-room—large centre table with 
chairs and sofa, left; small table with chairs, right; easel with picture 
of St. Joseph rear of stage, right; and directly behind, a screen. 
Other nice furniture distributed about room. Entrances, right, left 
and center. William, with large feather duster in hand, is chasing cat 
from room.) 

William—“Out wid vers. Out with vers. Yer dirty spalpeen. 
Out wids vers. (Walking to foot lights.) There, praps I ought’n to have 
done that. That was Master Jack’s cat. I’d do any thing for that 
cat. Kitty, Kitty, Kitty. There, she’s gone now ; I’ll not bother him 
about coming back agin. I must be brushing up. Master Jack’s 
coming home to-day, and as me brother used to say, 4 I’m not the man 
to shirk me duty when the likes of him be cornin’ home.’ Ah! he’s a 
fine man, he is; like his poor dead father and mother before him. I’ll 
keep me weather eye open to see that no harm comes to him, as I 
promised his father when he breathed his last. Holy Mother protect 
him from the likes of that uncle of his. He’s a villian, he is, if ever he 
was he his, isn’t he? Yis, he is.” (Dusting, and singing some Irish 
air.) 

Mrs. Stubbs (behind scene)—“ William ! William ! ” 

William—“Here comes me missus, and as me brother used to say, 
4 I’m not the man to shirk me duty.’” (Dusting and singing.) 

Mrs. Stubbs (behind scene)—“ William ! William !” (Enter right.) 
“ Where are you, William?” 

William (bowing)—“ Sure and ain’t you looking at me, me lady?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“ I have been searching every where for you, William. 
Where are the girls? Are you aware it is train time? See that 
Michael is off at once with the brougham to meet Master Jack and his 
friend, and that Jerry goes for the trunks.” 

William (going to center door)—“ Shure, me lady, Michael and the 
girls have been gone this half hour. (Looking off). The thraiu 
whistled some time ago, and shure as I’m look’n from me eyes, they be 
driving by the lake this quick.” 



2 


Mrs. Stubbs (looking off)—“You are right, William. I can see 
them myself.” 

William (still looking off)—“ Yis and share as I’m a mick. Master 
Jack is on the box himself holding the ribbons.” (Facing front.) 
“Ah! he’s a fine gentlemen, he is, if ever he was, he is, isn’t he? 
Yis, he is.” (As he exits right.) “ I’ll send Jerry for the trunks and 
speak to Dr. Stubbs.” 

Mrs. Stubbs (at the door)—“ Yes, it is Jack. The dear bov. How 
handsome he looks. How proud his mother would be if she could only 
see him now. Four long years of absence has made a wonderful change 
in him—yes, a wonderful change. I can hardly realize he is the same 
person.” (Coming forward.) “ How glad he must be to get back to 
his old home once more. A mere boy when he left, under guardianship 
of his uncle, with my own maternal love to guide him. But now the 
tables turn. He returns a man and master of all Lakeside. May the 
spirit of those gone before lead him a straight path in his career.” 
(Loud voices outside.) “ Oh, this seems too good to be true. Jack 
returned. I know his voice. How natural it sounds.” (Turns to 
meet Jack and others entering center. William follows behind with 
luggage and exits right.) 

jack (outstretched hands)—“ Aunty ! ” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Jack, dear bov.” (Kissing Jack.) “Welcome 
home, welcome home.” (She turns to Dick.) “And this is Mr. 
Mason, I presume?” (Shaking hands with Mr. Mason.) 

Jack (walking to right)—“Yes, Auntie, Dick Mason—the one I have 
written you so much about.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“ I am very glad you have come, Mr. Mason. We 
shall enjoy your visit so much.” 

Dick—“ Thank you, Mrs. Stubbs; I am glad I was fortunate enough 
to accompany Jack to his old home and enjoy mv vacation with you 
all.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“ 1 sincerely hope you will make your vacation long 
enough, Mr. Mason, to pay you for coming so far to spend it.” 

Rose—“Yes, America is a long way off, you know. You can’t get 
home in a day. Are you ever homesick, Mr. Mason?” 

Dick—“Homesick! ha! ha ! I should say not, Miss Rose. Why, 
I really don’t know what the sensation is. Your brother Jack is the 
homesick body. I had hard work to keep him in college.” 

Belle—“ Why, Jack, you did not mention this in your letters.” 

Jack—“ No, Belle, I knew it would do no good. I made up mv 
mind to be brave, and after the first year it was not so hard. Yet I 
never saw the time during the last four years that I couldn’t make 
myself homesick in five minutes when that” (pointing to Dick) “young 
man was not around to cheer me up. He’s the best fellow that ever 
lived.” 


3 


Belle—“Think of that, Mr. Mason. Yon must be a perfect bunch 
of cheerfulness, and an elegant man to have around when the blues are 
prevalent.” 

Dick—“ O, I am, Miss Ashton, I am. But I hope you understand 
as well as I that Jack does not mean all he says.” (All laugh.) 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Then you are glad to get home again, are you, 
J ack ? ” 

Jack—“Glad? Why, Aunty, that does not express it. I was so 
anxious to get here from the station that'the greys could not speed fast 
enough, even when 1 took them in hand. I’m afraid they have learned 
bad habits during mv absence; but I will soon draw them in line. 
Leave me alone for that.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“ Yes, Jack, but you won’t be hard on them. Remem¬ 
ber they were your father’s prize pair.” 

Jack— k * Yes, Aunty, they were. Poor father. But there, I don’t 
intend to kill them with abuse ; ouly just touch them up a little for 
their own good, that’s all; and no doubt Dick will enjoy exercising the 
thoroughbreds. How about that, Dick?” 

Dick—“ Most assuredly I will, or any other sport as for that.” 

Rose—“ Then you are fond of all sports, are you, Mr. Mason?” 

Dick—“ Yes, Miss Rose, I enter into all the games in college. 
There’s base ball, foot ball, rowing, fencing, and—and—er—boxing, 
and 

Rose—“ O, do you box, Mr. Mason?” 

Belle—“ And with real gloves?” 

Dick—“ Yes, L box with real gloves, ladies. But of course you 
understand that doesn’t mean that I fight with them. I put on the 
gloves and box merely as a past time and for the exercise. Is that not 
so, Jack ? ” 

Jack—“I have no stories to tell; but if this nose could talk I’m 
thinking you all would be well entertained.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“ How shocking, Jack. Your Uncle Phineas will 
never approve of such sport as that.” 

Jack—“ Gad, Auntv ! how stupid of me for not thinking of Uncle 
before. Where is he?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Your Uncle is this very moment writing of the 
subject about which we are talking. He is trying to introduce a bill 
to prohibit prize fighting.” 

Jack—“ Prize fighting?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Yes, Jack, and should he know you boys upheld 
such low sport he never would forgive you—no, never.” (Jack 
laughs.) 

Rose—“ Oh, Aunty ! I have an idea. Uncle was wishing only last 
night he had some one to give him a few ideas regarding the scientific 


4 


movements of boxers, that he might thoroughly understand them him¬ 
self and be able to properly inform the public. Now, Jack and Mr. 
Mason can put on the gloves and show him just how it is done,|and ”— 

Mrs. Stubbs (very indignant)—“ Rose, I am astonished at your 
thinking of such a thing.” 

Rose (surprised)—““Well, why, Aunty? It would not be wicked to 
do that, and oh ! it would be so much fun to see them.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“ A shocking idea of yours, my child. I cannot think 
for a moment your Uncle would wish to be a witness to any such 
maneuvers, even if he could obtain valuable information bv so doing. 
I am sure he would be absolutely opposed to it.” 

Belle—“ But Mrs. Stubbs, they would only be playing, you know. 
It is not like two men striving to whip each other for a large purse of 
money.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“ Playing fight with the gloves, Belle, is realism with 
Dr. Stubbs.” 

Jack—“And a good deal more than realism to him who gets 
thumped in the nose, Belle. My nose was always a target for Dick’s 
left handers, and there is not much play in that, I can assure you. 
Girls, I would like to have you know that Dick Mason is an expert 
pugilist and the prize winner of the college matches.” (Dick bows.) 

Mrs. Stubbs (very decided)— 1 * Then don’t mention it to your Uncle 
Phineas, Jack. If you do I’m afraid Mr. Mason will not enjoy his 
visit.” 

Dick—‘* Jack, your Uncle must have an extreme dislike for the art.’ r 

Jack—“ It appears so, old boy. But remember my Uncle is a 
minister, and he naturally would be opposed to it. We cannot help 
the way he believes, neither can we blame him. Therefore, we better 
take Aunty’s advice and keep quiet.” 

Belle—“ Yes, by all means do.” 

Rose—“But Aunty, supposing Uncle Phineas should ask for the 
information he is looking for? ” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Then Mr. Mason can give him such ideas as he 
desires, but it is not necessary to inform him of how many medals he 
lias won by putting men’s noses out of joint.” 

Dick—“ I agree with you, Mrs. Stubbs, I agree with you. But any 
assistance I can render the doctor I will gladly do.” (Doctor Stubbs 
is heard coming up the walk, appears center, screen overhead, mittens 
on, stops just outside.) 

Rose (running to door)—“Here comes Uncle, now.” (Laughs 
heartily and returns.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Jerry! Jerry! 1 wish you’d hive those bees on that 
limb. I’ve been trying to this half hour, and they won’t go in for me.” 


0 


Mrs. Stubbs—“Mercy, Doctor Stubbs! What are you doing? I 
thought you were in the study writing.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Well, I’m not, Mrs. Stubbs. Gracious Peter! Help 
me off with this fish net, quick ! Seems if more than half that swam is 
down mv neck. Ugh! There’s one in mv trousers’leg now. Come 
out here now and stop your buzzing. Any one would think you owned 
these trousers the way you take possession of them.” (Catching sup- 
p sed bee.) “Come out here. There, I’ve got you now. Go!” 
(Lets bee go, girls scream, bo^s protects their heads, as Dr. Stubbs 
laughs heartily.) 

Jack—“ Well, Uncle, this is new business for you, is it not?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“ Why, Jack, dear boy, how do you do! I am so glad 
to see you. I was not aware that you had arrived. And this is”— 
(extending hand to Dick.) 

Jack—“My true and reliable friend, Dick Mason, Uncle.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Mr. Mason, I am delighted to meet you. We have 
looked forward to your coming with Jack with great interest, and I 
sincerely hope it is your intention to remain with us a week, at least.” 

All (astonished)—“A week?” 

Jack (forcibly)—“Why, Uncle, he has come to stay all summer.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“O, yes; yes, I hope so. Yes, I am so glad. It 
will give us extreme pleasure if you remain that long.” (Aside.) “That 
boy’s extravagance!” 

Dick—“Thank you, sir, thank you.” 

Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“All summer! This is imposing upon my 
generosity.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Now that your Uncle Phineas has come, Jack, if you 
and Mr. Mason will excuse me, I will go and see if lunch is ready, for 
I know you both must be very hungry.” 

Jack—“Hungry ! Well, I should think so. And by the looks of 
Dick’s vest I should say he was half starved.” (Dick pulls vest out. 
All laugh. Exit Mrs. Stubbs, right.) 

Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“Such extravagance! This is terrible!” 

Rose—“Mr. Mason, while we wait, will you walk with Belle and me 
in the garden ?” 

Dick—“Nothing would give me greater pleasure, Miss Rose.” 

Belle—“And Jack?” 

Jack—“I will join you presently, Belle. I wish to speak with Uncle.” 

Belle—“Well, don’t be long.” 

Jack—“I’ll try not to.” (Jack bows them out, throwing kiss to 
Belle. Returns to Dr. Stubbs.) (Aside.) He appears a trifle indis¬ 
posed this morning. There must be good reason for it. I’ll see. (To 
Dr. Stubbs.) “Uncle, I trust that you have not taken offence at my 
asking Dick to visit me this summer.” 


6 


Dr. Stubbs—“Why of course not, of course not! Nothing gives me 
greater pleasure Jack than to see you enjoying yourself among your 
friends. I am twice glad Mr. Mason is here, and I have already taken 
a great fancy to the dear bov.” 

Jack—“I am glad to hear that, Uncle. Di ;k is an excellent fellow. 
He has been my friend and classmate since the first year I entered col¬ 
lege and I could not think of parting with him—perhaps forever— 
without asking him, out of mere politeness, if nothing more, to pay me 
a visit. Of course, had I been under age 1 would have felt it necessa¬ 
ry to consult you before asking him.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Just so, just so!” 

Jack—“But you are aware that I reached manhood a year ago.” 

Dr. Stubbs— ,k Of course Jack, of cour&e !” 

Jack—“And 1 felt a perfect right in doing as I pleased in the mat¬ 
ter.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Why certainly mv dear bov ; a perfect light, a perfect 
right!” 

Jack—“Thank you uncle, I was afraid you had taken offence.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Not at all Jack, not at all.” 

Jack—“Shall we go with the others in the garden?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“You may go alone Jack. I have some business to 
attend to, and will see you at lunch.” (Jack starts to exit. Dr. 
Stubbs following him to door.)—“Now, my dear boy, don’t let this 
enter your head again. Anyone would think you distrusted your old 
uncle, to hear you talk.” 

Jack—“No Uncle, I could not do that. It was a mistake on my 
part. 1 misinterpreted your actions and words; but it is all right 
now. (Exit, center.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Blast that boy for his independence! He begins to 
feel his oats already. Yet it is not too late to clip his wings. (William 
passes by the door. Dr. Stubbs takes certificate from his pocket-book 
and examines it.) The thirty thousand pounds invested in Bell Tele¬ 
phone is yielding too good a dividend to part with so soon. Ah ! how 
easy he can be made to think that money is lost. What a nice little 
story Phineas Stubbs has already in his mind to impart to him. (Will¬ 
iam in passing by the door stops to listen.) “Let me see; Lakeside, 
or Jack’s share of the estates, I will not take from him.” 

William (aside)—“I thought something was up!” 

Dr. Stubbs—“But ‘ The Elms,’ or Rose’s portion I will keep, pre¬ 
tending such will about cover my personal debt claim.” (Goes to 
writing.) “That shall be my home.” (William leaves.) “And Rose 
can live with me or her brother as she chooses. Yes, the boy can have 
his share of the estate, live on it and work for his daily bread, but I 
will cling to the money and Rose’s share and he will never know the 


difference. Do I dare try it? Yes, I will try it, and this pugilistic bill 
shall serve to protect me from any scandal. It will hold me up to 
public favor and win for me the respect and sympathy of mv parish. 
They never will believe Phineas Stubbs capable of dishonesty. As for 
Jack—why he never will mistrust, and if I know him, he will not even 
take the trouble to look it up, but treat it merely as a matter of ill- 
luck.” (Goes on writing. Enter William.) 

William—“Dr. Stubbs, sir, lunch is ready, sir.” (No reply.) 
“Lunch is ready, sir, Dr. Stubbs sir.” (No reply.) * * I’ll bet, 
begorry, lie’s dreamin’.” (Goes nearer and speaks louder.) “Dr. 
Stubbs, sir, lunch is ready, sir! Lunch is ready, sir, Dr. Stubbs, sir.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, ves, yes, William. I’ll be there directly.” 
(Exit William, center, lingers about door.) (Aside.) “I wonder if 
he could have heard anything? Now then this bill must be pushed for¬ 
ward, but before proceeding I must know pugilistic rules better. I 
must acquaint myself with all the ins-and-outs of this disgraceful mode 
of battle. If I could only see one contest, or if there were any one to 
inform me I should know well then how to treat it, but—I have it.” 
(Starts to exit.) “Jack and his friend must have derived some 
knowledge of the art from college life. They shall assist me in this 
good work.” (Exit Dr. Stubbs, left. Enter William, center.) 

William—“Well, well, well, if the old man ain’t the devil’s own boy 
himself in gintlemen’s clothes; he is, if ever he was, he is, isn’t he? 
Yis, he is. Shure and lie’s gittin’ stark ravin’ crazy over that bloody 
prize fight paper. Faith and it would not be well if the bloods knew 
the loikes of what he be up to. Did they know, they’d shmash him in, 
thin they’d shmash him out agin.” (Excitedly.) “I’d loike to try it on 
him meself.” (Fisting the air.) “I’d show him the loikes of what he 
ax, if ever I would I would, wouldn’t I? Yis, I would.” (Runs back 
center as if to listen.) “Holy Mother protect me; I thought I heard 
some one coinin’, but I guess there’s no danger so long as there’s plenty 
of grub to ate on the table.” (Enter Biddy, right, with dust cloth in 
hand.) “And as me bruther used to say, ‘I’m not the man to shirk me 
duty,’ so I’ll jest go out, find Biddy darlin’ and give her a bit of blarney 
to while away the time.” (Turns to go and discovers Biddy behind 
him. Appearing frightened.) “Holy Mother! Biddy dear, what yers 
doin’ here? Yer be the devii’s own for scarin’ me wits out of me.” 

Biddy—“Wits? Ha! ha! Wits? Well, its a plaguey few you’d 
have to" part with, William O’Grady, and it serves ye right for say in’ 
ver’d be givin’ me a bit of blarney.” (Crossing to left.) “And its a 
plaguey bit I’d take from the loikes of you anyway.” (Dusting with 
cloth.) 

William—“Ah, Biddy darlin’, it’s meself I was a talkin’ to. Shure, 
its only a blackguard that would blarney the sweet, pretty peach that 
ye are.” 


8 


Biddv (smiling and coming nearer to William)—“0, Mr. O’Grady ! 
do ye really think I am pretty loike that?” 

William (putting arm around her waist)—“Yes, Biddy, to me own 
sinsitive eyes, ye are jest a rosey, posey, ripe, plump, pretty peach, 
jest hanging by a shmall, slinder shtem, all ready—when somebody 
shakes the tree—to fall and”— 

Biddy—“And what?” 

William—“And kiss the ground, Biddy dear.” 

Biddy—“0, Mr. O’Grady ! that’s splindid talk, all but kissin’ the 
ground, and I niver could do that.” 

William—“Ah, Biddy dear, it’s not meself that would be lettin’ vers 
reach the ground. Ye’d fall straight into William O’Grady’s arms, and 
it would be William O’Gradv that ye’d kiss.” (Attempting to kiss her.) 

Biddy (releasing herself) — “Indeed, it would not. I’d sooner kiss a 
monkey.” 

William—“Well ye’d kiss yerself then.” 

Biddy—“And besides William O’Grady, ye are too old a man to be 
makin’ luve to the little, innocent, childlike gal that I am.” 

William (aside)—“Plague take me age.” (To Biddy.) “(), Biddy 
darlin’, don’t think of me age. Think of me good looks and me good 
nature.” 

Biddy—“How can I do that when you’ve got neither good looks, nor 
good nature, William O’Grady.” 

William (aside)—“I guess she thinks I’m a great, big, red headed 
bear.” (To Biddy.) Ah, Biddy darlin’, ver can think so if ve only 
have a moind to. Jest shut yer eves, Biddy dear, and I’ll make yer see 
the man yer love.” 

Biddy (closing her eyes)—“Yes, they are shut.” 

William—“Now jest imagine yer can see a nice young man—the kind 
ye’d loike to marry.” 

Biddy—“Yes, I can see him.” 

William—“Has he green.eves?” 

Biddy—“Yes.” 

William—Red hair?” 

Biddy—“Yes.” 

William—“And”— 

Biddy—“And a great, big, red nose.” 

William—“O, Biddy dear, keep your eyes shut, that’s me. (Fall into 
each other’s embrace.) “Keep them shut, keep them shut. Aint yer 
happy, Biddy dear?” 

Biddy—“Yes ; aint you?” 

William—“Yes, but keep yer eyes shut; me heart is swellin’, and 
bustin’ and beatin’ loike a drum for the loikes of ye, Biddy darlin’.” 


9 


Biddy—“Is it a kiss yer after gittin’, this time?” 

William—“No, Biddy darlin’, yer misunderstand me, meaning shure 
this time. It’s me everlastin’ love for ye.” 

Biddy—“Is that so?” 

William—“Yes, Bidd} T dear, that is so, and ye are the only gal in all 
the world that can scratch me tickling heart. Come now, Biddy dear, 
and I’ll tell ye a sweet pretty story.” 

Biddy—“All right, William O’Grady ; I’m listening. (Sings duet. 
When finished, both exit, right, just as Dr. Stubbs and Jack enter, 
center, engaged in earnest conversation.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Mv dear boy, there are many things to be considered, 
which you of course know about. Here your father left you thirty 
thousand pounds which was invested by himself in those American 
mines.” 

Jack—“Yes, Uncle, I know that.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“And the interest of this money was to be used in pro¬ 
viding for you and Rose, and in keeping up the estates.” 

Jack—“Exactly, I understand.” (Seated at table.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Then again, your aunt and myself were to have a 
home at Lakeside until you were of age.” 

Jack—“Yes, Uncle, a home always, if you wish.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Bless you my boy, bless you!” (Aside.) “Now is 
my time.” (To Jack.) “At first, Jack, the dividends were paid reg¬ 
ularly, and from the amount you received your usual quarterly 
allowance.” 

Jack—“Yes, Uncle, I did.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“And the rest was used accordingly. But there came 
a time, Jack, when thev failed to materialize. 1 didn’t have the heart 
to tell you of it then. Your aunt and Rose were also kept in ignor¬ 
ance, because I knew they would worry.” 

Jack—“Well?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Then was the time it came hard on me.” 

Jack—“Yes.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“And only through my loving care and fatherly inter¬ 
est. did I retain the estates and keep you in college, though I deprived 
myself of many necessities, expecting that in time matters would be 
put to right.” 

Jack (aside)—“What does this mean, I wonder. (To Dr. Stubbs) 
“Had I known this, Uncle, I would have returned home.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“I knew you would my dear boy, I knew you would, 
and that is the reason I said nothing.” 

Jack (getting interested)—“Well, how did it turn out eventually!” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Well, Jack, a little while after news came of—of” 


10 


Jack—“Of what, Uncle?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, Jack! it breaks my heart to tell you this bad 
news.” 

Jack—“Tell the worst, Uncle ; I am ready for anything.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Well, Jack, in the downfall of the mines”— 

Jack—“Downfall of the mines?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Your money was lost.” 

Jack—“Lost! My God, I am ruined !” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Tut! tut! tut! Calm yourself, my dear boy, calm 
yourself. Each pin thrust in your heart is as a dagger in my own. 
Mv heart burns with sympathy, dear boy, for you. I must have fresh 
air—I .must have fresh air.” (Falls back to center. Aside.) “I 
know his nature. He will soon forget it.” 

(Jack throws himself into chair, head on table. Sitting upright.) 
Jack—“Little did I dream such news as this awaited my return. An 
hour ago I was happy and full of hope ; now the pangs of sorrow have 
entered my heart and are burning like brands of fire. I can see 
nothing but a dark and clouded future. Poor sister Rose ! What will 
she do? She must not know—for a while, at least, and if worse comes 
to worse I will provide a home for her by the sweat of my brow. O, 
Belle ! Belle ! all our hopes are blasted by a single blow. Four long 
3 7 ears you have waited patiently for me and this is your reward. Too 
bad ! too bad !” (Throws his head on table. Belle is heard singing 
outside.) “She is coming! How sweet her voice sounds! But she 
must not see me in this mood.” (Enter Belle.) 

Belle—“Why, Jack, you here alone? I thought your Uncle Phineas 
was with you?” 

Jack (avoiding her)—“He was, Belle, a moment ago. He must 
have gone out to get the fresh air. (At the door.) Yes, I can see 
him now, walking with Dick and Rose in the shade of the old oaks.” 

Belle—“Why Jack, what makes you look so pale, are you ill?” 

Jack—“No, Belle, Pm a trifle unstrung, that’s all. Perhaps from 
the long journey. I need rest. (Takes book from table and goes to 
sofa.) 

Belle (aside)—What a change has come over him. Something is the 
matter; I must find out what it is. (To Jack.) “Jack, why do you 
act so strangely and try to avoid me when I speak to you? Tell me, 
has anything gone wrong?” 

Jack—“Why to you ask that, Belle?” 

(Enters William and conceals himself behind screen.) 

Belle—“Your actions and your very countenance betray you, and if 
you are in trouble, is it not my right to know it?” 

Jack—“Perhaps so, Belle, but such trouble as mine, if you knew it, 
might cause you unhappiness, and that would be unnecessary.” 


11 


Belle—“No ! It would be more of a reason for my knowing.” 

Jack—“Why so, Belle?” 

Belle—“That I may bear its weight with you.” 

Jack—“Bless you, Belle; you are a dear, brave girl, but I cannot 
drag you into the depths of my misery; I love you too much for that. 
Henceforth treat me as a friend—a heart-broken friend.” 

Belle—“Jack Dellford, what do you mean?” 

Jack—“I mean, Belle, that you have been kind and loving ; unfault- 
ering in your patience. You have been my heart and soul—yes, my 
very life—and to reward you—O Belle! Belle ! I cannot say it.” 

Belle—“Speak, Jack! Such words as those must not go spoken 
without some explanation.” 

Jack (taking seat by table)—“Sit here beside me, Belle, and I will 
tell you.” (Belle kneels by Jack’s side.) “When my poor father 
died just five years ago this month, he left Rose and myself with a 
handsome property, as you very well know.” 

Belle—“Yes, Jack.” 

Jack—“With 'Lakeside’—my own portion of the estate—and ‘The 
Elms’ left to Rose, there were thirty thousand pounds at interest in 
American copper mine stock—an investment my dear father swore by.” 
(Hesitating thoughtfully.) 

Belle—“Yes, Jack, go on.” 

Jack—“His last request was that this money should remain as he 
had placed it until I was of age.” 

Belle—“Yes.” 

Jack—“Then I could do with it as I wished; but for the best inter¬ 
ests of Rose and myself, advised me not to touch it even then, so long 
as it continued a profitable investment.” 

Belle—“And you did take his advice, Jack?” 

Jack—“Yes, Belle, I did. I always took his advice, and never 
failed to come out right, but this time there was a mistake.” 

Belle—“A mistake, Jack? Why, what do you mean?” 

Jack—“Well. Belle, in my letter home, the day I was twenty-one, I 
asked if the money was all right and doing well.” 

Belle—“And they told you it was, of course?” 

Jack—“Yes, Belle, they did.” 

Belle—“Well, Jack !” 

Jack—“And I heard nothing more from it until I reached home 
to-day.” 

Belle—“Then what did you learn, Jack?” 

Jack—“I learned, Belle”—(hesitating.) 

Belle—“Yes, Jack, go on.” 


12 


Jack—“That the mines had failed and the money was lost!” 

Belle—“Lost I” (Crying.) “O Jack ! Jack !” 

Jack—“There is nothing left now but the estates, and with nothing 
to keep them up they will soon go. I am ruined ! I am ruined 1” 

Belle—“When did this loss occur, Jack?” 

Jack—“I do not know that, Belle. Uncle Phineas did not say.” 

Belle (aside)—“His uncle told him? This is strange.” (To Jack, i 
“Jack, do you think I would allow poverty to come between us? No, 
never!” 

Jack—“O Belle ! Belle ! You know not what you say.” 

Belle—“I do, and I mean it! It is you that I love, not the riches 
you have lost.” (Aside.) “Something is wrong here. What did 
William mean when he told me to watch close after the master’s uncle?” 
(To Jack.) “Jack, I cannot think but what this is a mistake. Is it 
possible you might have been deceived?” 

Jack—“Deceived? Belle do you think Uncle Phineas would lie to 
me?” 

William (appearing from behind screen)—“Ahem!” 

Belle—“Why William!” 

Jack—“ William what are you doing here?” 

William—“I beg the pardon of Master Jack and his ladv for com¬ 
ing here. It is not the likes of me to be prowling ’round-sneak-like, 
listening to what the likes of other peoples have to say. But as me 
bruther use to say, I’m not the man to shirk me duty, and I felt it an 
absolute necessity to listen to the conversation of Master Jack and his 
lady.” 

Jack—“ For what reason William?” 

William—“ Your Uncle Phineas, Master Jack, has been acting 
strangely this morning, sometimes like he was crazy. Getting away 
by himself to speak to himself, with eyes and ears on the look out for 
the likes of other people.” 

Jack—“ Well what of it?” 

William—“ Well I was passing by the door when I see him shaking 
his head and swinging his arms and I stopped.” 

Jack—“ Yes, go on.” 

William—“ Then he sat down and spoke to himself like this : ‘ Let 

me see’ says he ‘Lakeside or Master Jack’s share of the estates, I will 
not attempt to take from him.’” 

Jack—“ Take it from me?” 

William—“ That’s what he said.” 

Belle—“ What did I tell you Jack?” 

Jack—“ Go on William, what more did he say?” 


13 


William “ 4 But’ says he, 4 The Elms, or Rose’s proportion I will 
keep, pretending such will about cover my personal debt claim.’” 

Jack— 44 Personal claim !” 

Belle—‘‘Jack something is wrong here.” 

Jack—I believe you Belle. My money lost and sister Rose to be 
cheated out of her inheritance to satisfy my Uncle’s personal claim. 
What does it mean? Something is wrong. What more did vou hear 
William?” 

William— 44 Well it’s hard tellin’ Master Jack, it’s hard tellin’. Shure 
it was afterwards I heard him speak of that prize bill, to cover up his 
sins. 

Jack— 44 Cover up his sins?” 

William— 1,4 Yis and the bloody thing will drive him crazy yet. He 
is stuck somewhere, on it and is after getting Master Jack and his 
friend to help him out.” 

Jack— 44 You heard nothing more William?” 

William— 44 That’s all in me mind at present Master Jack, and may 
the likes of you and me lady forgive me for listening to vour conversa¬ 
tion.” 

Jack— 44 Yes William, but remember and keep this to yourself. 

William— 44 To be sure I will.” (Exit William.) 

Belle— 44 Jack you must confront your uncle with this at once. He 
is playing a deceitful part.” 

Jack— 44 It appears so Belle, but I cannot accuse him of this vil- 
lianous deed until I know the absolute truth. He may have lost my 
money, but he never snail take Rose’s property away from her—Never 
if I can help it. Dick shall assist him in completing his bill at the 
same time he must strive to unearth his plot. If he is playing a de¬ 
ceitful part he must be punished.” (Enter Dick and Rose.) 

Rose— 44 Oh Belle I have something to tell you.” 

Belle— 44 Well then let us go into the garden and talk it over.” 

Rose— 44 It is such a charming day and I feel so happy.” 

Jack— 44 Happy ! the dear girl does not know what is in store for 
her. I wish I could share her happiness.” 

Dick— 44 Why old boy, what has gone wrong with you?” 

Jack— 44 Everything is wrong Dick and nothing is right.” 

Dick— 44 What’s up now?” 

Jack (aside)—“I must be careful what I say.” (To Dick.) 
“Well, Dick, I have reason to believe that Uncle is not sincere in 
regard to this prohibitory bill of his; that he is merely advocating its 
passage as a method by which he may blind others from wrong deeds 
he is suspected of perpetrating.” 

Dick— 44 What! You don’t suspect him of any crime, I hope?” 


14 


Jack—“Sh, sh.” (Looking cautiously around.) “If what evidence 
I possess proves to be the truth it can be called crime, and nothing 
else.” 

Dick—“Then you will expose him at once?” 

Jack—“Not at once, Dick, and by all means prevent a public 
exposure. I will bear the weight of his deeds rather than have the 
disgrace brought upon my innocent Aunt, over whose eyes I am positive 
he is pulling the wool. I wish to make the exposure to her, then she 
can do as she thinks best. She believes him sincere in striving to sur- 
press prize fighting ; I know he is not, and she must be made to believe 
the truth. An exposure here may cause a confession of other mis¬ 
deeds.” 

Dick—“That is true, old boy, that is true ; but how shall it be done ?” 

Jack—“That is the question, Dick—how? He must be found out 
one way or another, and whatever is done must be done immediately 
and with great caution. If he is guilty, he must suffer; if innocent, he 
will be none the wiser of our efforts.” (Thoughtfully.) “Let me see. 
How shall we go at it?” 

Dick—“I have a plan we might try.” 

Jack—“What is that?” 

Dick—“Your Uncle was talking to me only a moment ago regarding 
his bill, and asked my aid in bringing it to completion. Now, if we 
could induce him to enter the ring in a friendly contest, in some remote 
corner where he would not be seen, with the idea that I should explain 
the details of every movement as he performed them, his opponent—of 
course a stranger—might make it so interesting for him as to cause him 
to forget his true purpose and naturally the contest would end in just 
what he pretends to term disgraceful.” 

Jack—“What! A fight with the gloves?” 

Dick—“ Exactly, and your aunt would hear of it soon enough no 
doubt.” 

Jack (aside)—“ Can I consent to this? Yes I will, there can be no 
harm done.” 

Dick—“ Well old boy what do you say?” 

Jack—“A capital idea Dick, if it can only be carried out.” 

Dick—“We can try; but where shall it take place?” 

Jack—“Easy enough. I will secure a room at Buxton Club. You 
take the matter into your own hands, so to speak, and I will back you 
in whatever you undertake. That is, I will be your silent partner, and 
will keep in the shade to avoid suspicion. Tomorrow I will take a run 
into London to consult legal advice, at the same time I will secure a 
man for our purpose. 

Dick—“Good!” 

(Enter Belle, Rose and Dr. Stubbs.) Rose—“Jack, dear, uncle 


has invited us all to go over to ‘The Elms’ tomorrow on a picnic. Isn’t 
that fine? 

Jack—“That would be a very enjoyable time no doubt Rose, but I 
shall have to decline uncle’s invitation as I have important business to¬ 
morrow out of town.” (Jack and Belle throw their heads up indig¬ 
nantly at the Doctor. Rose is very much astonished, while the others 
display sort of an understanding air.) 


CURTAIN. 


ACT II.—Scene I. 


(Three days elapse between first and second acts.) 

(Scene —Should represent study. Dr. Stubbs seated at desk very 
busily writing. Chairs, table, etc., distributed about room.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Well, Jack is in London, it seems, on business.” 
Perhaps to see about selling the estates at the first price offered him. 
Then—well, he may buy a small farm, marry Belle and settle dowu to 
quiet life. It can’t be he has detected mv plot to swindle him. Oh no, 
it can’t be he has gone for that. He treated me rather coolly after I 
told him of the loss—yes, the loss. Ha! ha! ha! A bright idea—the 
loss. Well, that should be natural. He thinks, no doubt, I have been 
a trifle careless with his money, and is put out because I neglected to 
notify him before. Perfectly natural, perfectly natural. I would be 
cool myself under the same circumstances.” (Writing.) “It was a 
fortunate move when I sold >^ut in the mines and reinvested in Bell 
Telephone, then forgot to speak to him about it. Yes, forgot to. 
Ha ! ha ! ha ! Another bright idea. He knows that the mines have 
failed and believes his money was lost. That’s all very well. Let him 
think so.” (Looks at watch.) “It is getting late. I must hasten 
with my sermon, or I fear it will not be done in time for Sunday, and 
to-day—is Friday. Mr. Mason will be in soon to talk more about his 
plan to assist me. It is an excellent idea of his, but my wife must not 
know. When he comes I will caution him about keeping the matter to 
himself.” (Goes to writing. Enter Dick, center, with gloves.) 

Dick (aside)—“He is playing the villian, it seems. Mv little scheme 
was not so difficult to work as I expected, and now, Brother Stubbs, 
before the rising of another.sun, your people may have the satisfaction 
of seeing you caught in your own trap.” (To Dr. Stubbs.) “Ah! 
good evening, Dr. Stubbs.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Good evening, Mr. Mason, good eveniug. 

Dick—“Rather lonesome about with Jack away.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Quite so, Mr. Mason, quite so. Jack is a dear good 
boy and excellent company, and without his presence the place seems 
very gloomy, very gloomy.” 

Dick (aside)—“He thinks so, no doubt.” (To Dr. Stubbs.) “Yes, 
Dr. Stubbs, that is so, and we had many plans for the week, and his 
having to be away has quite broken them up. However, business 
before pleasure always. Yet, I truly hope he will not be detained long 
in London.” 


17 


I)r. Stubbs—"Let me see. Two days in London, should be ample 
time to transact what business lie has, and one day to go and come. 
That would bring him home to-morrow night. 

Dick (aside) — ""I’m glad he thinks so.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“It is possible I may be timing him incorrectly, but 
that is my judgment Mr. Mason, that is my judgment.” 

Dick (aside)—“I admire his judgment. (To Dr. Stubbs.) Your 
judgment is very encouraging I’m sure, and I trust it will not fall wide 
of its mark, for I really feel lost without him. However, Dr. Stubbs, 
this will give us an excellent opportunity to visit Buxton Club tonight, 
and carry out our plans without beiug obliged to answer the inquiries 
of anyone. 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, ves, that’s so, that’s so.” 

Dick (aside)—“The old reprobate.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Have you arranged the hour of meeting, Mr. Mason?” 

Dick—“That’s what 1 came to tell you. Eight o’clock sharp. The 
gentleman who is to assist us will be there at that time.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, I hope so.” 

Dick—“And here Dr. Stubbs is a pair of gloves such as will be used 
this evening. Perhaps it would be well to put them on, before you go 
down, just to get acquainted with the bungling things, and limber up 
your arms, by moving them up and down, and in and out in this way. 
(Dick goes through the movements.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, perhaps I better, I will, Mr. Mason, I will.” 

Dick (aside)—“If his wife should catch him though, the game 
would be up. I’ll caution him. (To Dr. Stubbs.) Keep them out of 
sight doctor. Don’t let a soul get a glimpse of them, if they should 
we are found out sure.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, that’s so, that’s so. I will be careful Mr. 
Mason, I will be careful.” 

Dick—“I will start now to see that the coast is clear, and arrange 
the room for business. 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, that’s right, do so.” 

Dick (Taking leave)—“Then I will see you later, Good bye.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, good bye sir, good bye.” (Goes to writing.) 

Dick (aside at the door)—“If I can once get him by the club house 
doors without being seen, I’ll make him confess his sins or die in the 
attempt.” (Exit.) 

Dr. Stubbs (soliloquizing)—“Strange I should allow myself to put 
such perfect confidence in this young friend of Jack’s, If my wife 
hears of this, she will never forgive me as long as she lives. No never. 
But she will not know. Mr. Mason quite understands my position, 
and I feel that he will take particular pains to be cautious. Then mat¬ 
ters are so arranged, there is no possible chance of its leaking out.” 


18 


(Looks about the room to see that no one is around, then comes back 
and looks at the gloves on the table.) ‘"What strange looking things 
they are.*’ (Takes them up.) “Whv they are just as soft as pillows. 
No wonder the boys like to play with them, I would myself. I should 
think it would be excellent exercise. But the great troub le is they 
always get mad when they play, and 1 have been told that it is very 
bad for the eves and causes severe hemorrages from the nose.” (Put¬ 
ting gloves on.) “Perhaps I better not make my exercise too violent. 
I'll practice just a little.” (Goes through several movements.) 
“There, that will do, I guess. Now I will be on time at the club, 
obtain such information necessary to complete my bill, return home at 
an early hour and none other than Mr. Mason and myself will be the 
wiser for it.” (Enters Mrs. Stubbs with crochet work.) 

Mrs. Stubbs—“None the wiser for it! For what, Dr. Stubbs?” 
(The Dr. throws one glove off behind him.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Er—I—yes, my dear; 1 was just saying in my bill 
that these prize fights occurs in hundreds of places every day and the 
public is none the wiser for it.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“What has Mr. Mrson to do with it, pray tell.” 
(Taking seat by table.) 

Dr. Stubbs (taking up paper)—“Ahem ! Er—ves—I—there, I shall 
be getting everybody’s name in this paper if I don’t take care.” (Tears 
up paper.) “I have been trying to write, my dear, while Mr. Mason 
was talking.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Mr. Mason! Has he been here?’ 

Dr. Stubbs—“Ahem ! Well—yes, ves, my dear, he has.” (Aside.) 
•You can’t catch an old fly.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“And where is he now?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Gone to get ready—ahem !—I mean, my dear, he has 
gone to hunt up the girls.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“The girls are in the drawing room, Dr. Stubbs, 
reading.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“They are? Well, now, that is too bad. He will go 
all over the estate, no doubt before he comes back here again.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Dr. Stubbs, I think you have studied too hard this 
afternoon. You had better rest.” (Walks towards the Dr.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, my dear, you are right. 1 think I have. I will 
rest.” (Mrs. Stubbs follows him up and he tried to conceal the glove.) 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Is your sermon completed for Sunday, Dr. Stubbs?” 

Dr. Stubbs (keeping glove behind him)—“Yes, ves, my dear, it is 
all done.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“And there is nothing else on hand until next 
week ?” 

Mr. Stubbs—“Nothing, my dear, that I know of ; no. (Mrs. Stubbs 


19 


turns away aud Dr. says aside.) “Nothing except this damned glove ! 
And that’s on hand forever, I guess.” (Tries to remove it.) 

Mrs. Stubbs (turning around)—“I am so glad; you can take a nice 
rest until then.” (Goes to work.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, so I can.” (Aside.) Oh! oh! this is 
horrible.” (To Mrs. Stubbs ) “My dear, are you aware of the fact 
that Mary Ann is becoming very negligent about her duties in the 
house?” (Pointing to the ceiling.) “Just see what an abundance of 
cobwebs there are up there.” 

Mrs. Stubbs (keeping her eyes on the Dr.)—“Yes, Dr. Stubbs, 1 
saw them this morning, and spcke to her about it, but I guess it slipped 
her memory. I will remind her of it again to-morrow.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, I would.” (Mrs. Stubbs walks a few steps 
away.) (Aside, impatiently.) “O, what shall I do!” (In trying to 
remove the glove Mrs. Stubbs looks up aud sees it on his hand.) 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Mercy, Dr. Stubbs! what is that, thing ou your 
hand ?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“There, there, my dear! It was my intentions to show 
you this peculiar piece of ingenuity. This is what they call in America 
The Editors’ Blotter.’” (He holds it in his left hand while he writes 
with the other.) “Mr. Mason left it here for me to try.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“What a queer looking thing it is. Does it work 
well?” (Taking seat.) 

Dr. Stubbs—-“Charmingly, my dear, charmingly !” (Aside.) “That 
was a close call.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“I never saw one like it before.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“And I never did either, my dear.” (Aside.) “And 
I never want to see another.” (Removes glove at last, reclining in 
chair, then looks at watch. Aside.) “It is drawing near the time 
when I must go.” (Looks at wife.) “She appears to have come to 
stay. How shall I escape her? I’ll try.” (To Mrs. Stubbs.) “My 
dear, did you not think the girls might be lonesome away bv them¬ 
selves?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“That is so I did not think. Let us go and sit with 
them.” (Rising.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, my dear we will. (Turning to desk. Aside) 
This is terrible. I must not be late. (To Mrs. Stubbs.) My dear 
you go in and tell them I am coming. I have thought of a new idea 
and must put it down before I forget it.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“You must not write any more to night Dr. Stubbs. 
You are all tired out now. However I will let you write that much, 
then we will go in with the girls.” (Sits down.) 

Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“What shall I do?” (He writes and she 
works.) (Enter William.) 




■20 


William—‘‘Ahem !” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“What is it William?” 

William—“A vagabond at the door wishes me to ask me lady, if she 
will favor him with the price of a night’s lodging at Stouebam Inn.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“A shilling. Dr. Stubbs have you that much about 
you ?” 

Dr. Stubbs (putting hand in pocket)—“Yes my dear 1 think I have. 
I am always glad to help the poor. (Gives money to her.) (Aside.) 
If my fountain of genorisitv keeps on flowing I shall certainly be a 
poor man.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“I will go and see the poor fellow myself, he may be 
hungry.” (Exit William and Mrs. Stubbs.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Now is my time. (Taking off dressing gown.) I 
must hurry, she may come back and catch me. (Putting on coat.) If 
she should catch me. (Getting cane.) Where is mv hat? (Finds it 
at last, starts to leave, when wife comes back.) Too late.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Why Dr. Stubbs where are you going?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“My dear it has just occurred to me that there is a 
meeting of the Professors in Berkshire Chapel this evening, and I 
promised to be there and talk over missionary affairs in China.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“A meeting of the professors, hey?” 

Dr. Stubbs—‘*Yes, my dear.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Rather late in the day to think of such important 
business as that, is it not?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Well, yes, my dear, rather, but I will have Michael 
drive me down, and if he hurries a bit I will not be late.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Michael is going to drive out with the girls this 
evening, Dr. Stubbs. You will have to put Jerry in use this time.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Very well, my dear, I will. Good bye. 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Good bye, Dr. Stubbs. I shall wait up for you.” 
(Sitting down to work.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“O no, no, my dear; you are a dear, thoughtful woman, 
really, but it will not be necessary to wait up, unless you really wish to, 
but I wouldn’t if I were you. It may be quite late when I return.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Well, I’ll see, Dr. Stubbs.” 

Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“I will walk from the Chapel. They will never 
know the difference.” (Exit.) 

Mrs. Stubbs (watching from the door)—“How strangely the Doctor 
behaves of late. I believe this bill of his is wearing upon his mind, and 
if I don’t do something soon I fear it will be too late. He is certainly 
a changed man. 


21 


Scene II. 

(Scene —Street scene.) 

(Enter Professor Wade, with characteristic swagger of tough. Hat 
cocked over eye. Smoking cigar.) Prof. Wade—“I’m a bloody, 
blooming, bleeding sport, eh fellers!” (Puffing.) ‘-I’ll make me 
mark in dis world.” (Puffing.) An’ I won’t jump hoff no bridge ter 
make it, either, eh fellers!” (More puffing.) ’‘Been hinvited hup ter 
do a chump what’s puttin’ de shutters on cle biz.” (Sneering laugh.) 
“Ic’d do ’im, too, eh fellers ! He's ter draw de bloomin’ line on prize 
tightin’. His he? Well, thumpin’ chumps his hout o’ me class, but I’ll 
jest go ’im one in dis case, eh fellers ! Big ain’t hup to de chalk or I’d 
show me teeth hat de hoffer. I’ll jest put hon me mits an’ give ’im a 
dead game o’ play for a five pounder, eh fellers!” (Puffing.) 

“De Norway spider ain’t hin hit wid me, 

I c’n land hon his blooming hear, 

And Mitchell, de blood, is no earthly use; 

If I can’t do ’im cold, it’s queer. 

I’m a poet, eh fellers! I c’u dance, too, but I ain’t got hon de proper 
foot caper, an’ I won’t dance. Got a voice iike a bird. I c’n sing yer 
ter sleep hin two jiffs. If yer’d like ter ’ear me just ’old yer posish an’ 
I’ll warble a bit just to show yer.” (Puffing. Sings song: When 
finished looks up and down the street.) “Wonder w’ere dev put dat 
bloomin’ club ’ouse w’en dey made hit. De streets ’ere ain’t made hon 
de London plan.” (Sees some one coming.) “’Ere comes one of de 
natives. I’ll shake ’im hup for a pointer.” (Enter Dr. Stubbs, left, 
hurridly.) “Say, cuffy”— 

Dr. Stubbs—“What do you wish to communicate, sir; I am in a 
hurry.” 

Prof. Wade—“I feel hit me duty, hold crab, ter inform yer dat yer 
won’t going’ ’alf so fast as yer would ’ave been going’ hif yer was goin’ 
twice has fast.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“How hoes my hurrying concern you, sir? You insult 
me. I will not talk to you.” (Starts to go.) 

Prof. Wade—“Look er ’ere, spoony ! I wau’t ter ask yer a question.” 
(Offering cigar.) ‘Ave a draw?” 

Dr. Stubbs (taking cigar)—“Yes, yes, thank you, my dear sir; I 
will smoke it later in the evening.” 

Prof. Wade—“I tought so. Look out for hit, hits loaded.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, that’s all right; I will. What can I do for 
you ?” 

Prof. Wade—Tell me w’ere’s the Buxton Club ’Ouse.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, that’s where I”—(aside.) “That’ where 
I’m going. He must not see me enter.” (To Prof. Wade.) “Let me 
see ; two streets to the left, right hand side.” 

Prof. Wade—“Tanks. Will yer go round de corner for a bun?” 


22 


Dr. Stubbs—“Bun, sir? I don’t quite comprehend your meaning.” 
(Prof. Wade strikes tippling attitude.) “I don’t mind, sir; its very 
warm. I need something to brace me up.” (Exit Prof. Wade and 
Dr. Stubbs arm in arm. Scene opens in club room.) 

Scene III. 

(Scene —Should represent plain room, screen at side. Four chairs 
in center of room, with rope attached to each, to form square. Dick 
arranging rope to suit his taste.) 

Dick—“This business reminds me of old college days. One of my 
favorite pranks too. How many times Jack and I have turned our 
oom into a prize ring, for the benefit of two would-be pugilists, who 
t hose to settle some trifling dispute with the gloves ; but which ended 
eventually in an all round pillow fight, and a message from the faculty 
to make less noise or suffer the consequences.” (Laughing.) “Ah, 
those were good old times, ever to be remembered.” (Tying rope on 
chair.) “There I guess that will stand the pressure, and I hope there 
will be pressure enough to test it.” (Laughing.) “I expect this will be 
a regular circus. Now for the gloves.” (Getting gloves and inspect¬ 
ing them.) “They seem to be in good condition.” (Putting them on.) 
“They’re no feather beds either.” (Fisting the air.) “O wouldn’t I like 
to cross-counter the old man and land on his jaw. Ugh !” (Striking 
rapidly into space.) (A specialty can go in here.) 

(Enter Belle and Rose hurriedly) Rose—“O Mr. Mason we thought 
we would surely be late.” 

Belle—“Yes, and we made Michael drive as fast as ever he could.” 

Dick—“You are in very good season, girls. There is plenty of time 
yet before the show begins. The gentleman from London has not 
arrived yet, and Dr. Stubbs will not be here before eight o’clock 
a nvway.” 

Belle—“And perhaps not then, Mr. Mason.” 

Dick—“Why, Miss Ashton? Do yon think he will disappoint us?” 

Belle—“I really do not know how he intends to manage it, but we 
eard him tell Mrs. Stubbs he was going to a meeting of the Professors 
in Berkshire Chapel to-night.” 

Dick—“Meeting of the Professors ! Berkshire Chapel!” 

Rose—“Yes, and he said it would be late when he came home and 
for Aunty not to wait up for him.” 

Dick—“Well, now, 1 like this. Meeting of the Professors! Berk¬ 
shire Chapel! That’s a uice way to get out of it. If that man fails to 
put in an appearance here to-night I’ll blow on him before 1 go to bed. 
I’ll blow on him anyway for lying to Mrs. Stubbs.” 

Rose (resentfully)—“Mr. Mason please be careful how you accuse 
my Uncle of falsehood. Perhaps he intends going to the chapel and 
getting excused to come here. I never knew him to tell a lie.” 



23 


(Walks indignantly away, goes behind screen and pretends to cry 
aloud.) 

Dick—“There, there, there, I’ve put my foot in it now; that is too 
bad. Miss Rose !” (No reply. Cries louder.) 

Belle (aside)—“Be careful what you say. She knows nothing of 
Jack’s trouble, or the real purpose for which her Uncle is coming here.’’ 

Dick—“That’s so; I forgot. I must make amends.” (Starts fo: 
screen.) “Miss Rose!” (No reply.) “Miss Rose! I”—(Rose 
dodges out as he goes in.) “Where are you?” (Dick comes out; she 
goes in.) “I”—(facing audience.) “Well, now, I am really fond of 
chasing the squirrel; I’ll try mv luck at catching her.” (Chases her 
around screen twice, catches her and both walk to center, Rose with 
handkerchief to her face.) 

Dick—“Miss Rose, I—you—please accept my apologies.” 

Rose (pretending to cry)—“No!” 

Dick—“But Miss Rose, I certainly did not intend to call your uncle 
a—er—a”— 

Rose—“Well, you just the same as called him a—er—a—a”—(pre¬ 
tending to cry.) 

Dick—“Really, I did not think how it was going to sound, Miss 
Rose. 1”— 

Rose—“I never will forgive you.” (Smiling to audience.) 

Dick—“Why, Miss Rose, you really don’t think I believe your uncle 
is a—-er---a—-would tell a falsehood, do you?” 

Rose--“Yes, 1 do.” 

Dick (aside)—“By Jove, I believe she is a mind reader.” (To 
Rose.) “Won’t you forgive me, Rose?” 

Rose—“No!” 

Dick—“Miss Rose I mean?” 

Rose—“No!” 

(Prof. Wade raps loudly on the door.) 

Dick—“Quick ! some one is coming.” 

Rose—“I don’t care !” 

Dick—-“Say you will forgive me.” 

Rose—“No!” 

(Prof. Wade raps again.) 

Dick—“Then get behind that screen quick. You must not be seen.” 
(Belle and Rose go behind screen. Aside.) “That girl is as stubborn 
as something I used to own with four legs and two ears.” (More rap¬ 
ping.) “Come in !” (Enter Prof. Wade.) 

Prof. Wade—“Dis his de way yer treat a man o’ my shade, his hit? 
Why don’t yer open de door wen a feller knocks an’ not stand by ’an 
’owl ‘come in?’” Ain’t used ter dat kind o’ reception.” 


24 


Dick-—“I beg your pardon, Mr.”— , 

Prof. Wade™ 1 * Wade, liif ver please. Say, I am one of nine o’ me 
inudder’s brats, an’ de older dev go de tougher dey git; I am de boldest, 
eh fellers !” 

Dick—“I understand. Mr. Wade.” 

Prof. Wade-—‘*Prof. Wade, if ver please.” 

Dick—“O yes, pardon me ; I am stupid. Ahem ! Prof. Wade I 
wish to apoligise for”— 

Prof. Wade-—‘‘No ’poligies. De next time hopen de door or send 
de butler ter do hit. I am a bit particular on dat point an’ mils’ ’ave 
de proper service like all men of me class, eh fellers!” (Girls peep 
over screen.) 

Dick—“Yes. Prof., I quite understand now I”—(motioning for girls 
to get down.) “Yes, I will remember and do so another time I”-— 
(montioning to girls. Wade looks around, don’t see anything.) 

Prof. Wade--“Wot’s de matter wid ver? Yer feel ’em cornin’ hon?” 

Dick—“O no, Mr. Wade. I was just”—(motioning again to girls. 
Wade looks around and sees nothing, i 

Prof. Wade—“Look er ’ere, Cuffy, hif dis his a game of hyponotize 
l c’n just give yer a bloody pointer on de biz. Hits hall right wid de 
girl wots got de peach of a foot, but it don’t push any fog wid me, eh 
fellers !” (Girls commence to giggle.,) 

Dick (aside)—“Confound those girls. I’d like to choke them. 
(Girls giggle again and tough sees hat above screen ) 

Prof. Wade-—“Wot his dis, an insane assylum, or are yer runnin’ a 
7 en show. I just see somethin’ a roostin’ on de top of dat screen.” 

Dick (aside)-—“I’ll fix them.” (To Prof. Wade.) “Prof. Wade, I 
shall have to explain. I have some friends who wished to see the box¬ 
ing this evening, so I invited them in.” 

Rose (aside)---“0 I would like to ring his neck.” 

Dick-—“And as they did not wish to be seen by the other gentlemen, 
who must not know of their presence, I placed them behind there.” 
(Pointing to screen.) 

Prof. Wade--*‘Dat’s hall right wid de other sports, but ver can’t pull 
de sheep hover my eyes, eh fellers!” 

Dick—-“That was not my object, Prof. Wade. I merely wished to 
hide them from”--(Belle and Rose come from behind screen.) 
‘•Ladies, this is Prof. Wade, the gentleman whom Jack has sent from 
London to show Dr. Stubbs the latest points and ideas on pugilism.” 

Belle and Rose (bowing)-—“Prof. Wade.” 

Prof. Wade—“Howdoir, girls.” 

Dick—“Prof. Wade is an expert boxer and if you will take particular 


notice this evening you will see that I do not compare with experts, for 
all of Jack’s effusive praise.” 

Rose—-“His effusion of praise, Mr. Mason, is none the less convinc¬ 
ing of your expertness than your own display of self confidence.” 

Dick—“Well. now. I like that. That means that I am conceited, 
does it. Miss Rose Dellford?” 

Rose—“Yes. it does, Mr. Dick Mason.” 

Belle—“Why, Rose, I hope Mr. Mason’s remark about your uncle 
has not brought you at sword’s points with him ” 

Rose—“It isn’t that. He should not have told Prof. Wade we were 
here. If uncle knows of it he will never forgive us.” 

Prof. Wade—“De yer tink I’d blow hon yer. Miss? Well, I guess 
not. I come from de class wot don’t blow, eh fellers!” 

Dick—“It was no more my own fault than yours. You should not 
have shown yourself above the screen.” 

Rose—“Well, I wanted to see.” 

Dick—“And you did see?” 

Rose—“Yes.” 

Dick—“And you were seen?” 

Rose—“Yes.” 

Dick—“Well!” 

Rose—“But it was your fault. Prof. Wade never would have seen 
us if you had not waved your hand.” 

Prof. Wade—“Look er ’ere now, yer better put hon de mits,” (offer¬ 
ing gloves) “an’ settle dis question right now. I’ll see fair play.” 
(Rose throws up her head and turns away with Belle talking to her.) 
“Dis ain’t gettin’down ter biz. W’eres de chump wot goin’ ter get 
tumped, eh?” 

Dick—“Dr. Stubbs should be here now. It is ten minutes over the 
time, but no doubt he will have a good excuse for his tardiness. There 
is the dressing room and it is safe to sav he will be here by the time 
you are ready.” 

Prof. Wade—“Yer don’t tink he’ll show de white fedder, de yer?” 

Dick—“Oh no, Prof. Wade, he will be here without doubt and you 
want to look out for him. He pretends not to know anything about 
this business, but I think he is a terror.” 

Prof. Wade—“Terror, eh? “Well, I can do ’im, eh fellers?” (Exit 
Prof. Wade.) 

Dick—“Ha! ha! ha! That man is about as tough as they make 
them.” 

Rose (Bell and Rose come from behind serene)—“I should think 
you would laugh, Mr. Mason. The language of that man is truly 
shocking.” 


26 


Dick—“Just as well laugh as cry- I cannot help his language, and 
so long as he serves the purpose we’ve got to put up with him.” 

Belle—“Yes, Rose, we must be patient. This is all for your uncle’s 
good. Prof. Wade comes of the very class he is trying to defeat, and 
that is the reason it has been so difficult for him to proceed with his 
petition ; but now he has found a way out of it we must have patience. 
Come, let us try. It will soon be over.” (Rose yields and the two girls 
start for screen. Dr. Stubbs is heard coming in the hall.) 

Dick—“Hurry, he is coming.” (Enter Dr. Stubbs hurriedly.) 
“Why, Dr. Stubbs, I thought you had changed your mind about 
coming. It is eight o’clock and fifteen minutes. Prof. Wade has 
been here this half hour and is now in the dressing loom.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“I beg to be pardoned, mv dear boy, for not being 
more prompt. I had some very important business to attend to at 
home and I did not realize bow fast the time went by. I trust my late¬ 
ness has not put you or Prof. Wade to any inconvenience.” 

Dick—“Not at all, sir, not at all.” (Dr. Stubbs turns to place his 
hat and cane aside. Dick aside.) “Important business ! Meeting of 
the Professors! Berkshire Chapel! And she never knew her uncle to 
tell a lie. O this is”— 

Dr. Stubbs—“Everything is in readiness, is it, Mr. Mason?” 

Dick—“Everything is, yes, sir, excepting that I wish to say a few 
words to you regarding the Professor.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, I am ready to listen.” 

Dick—“You see, Dr. Stubbs, this man is accustomed to very severe 
punishment, and what hard blows you may see fit to give him he will 
hardly be able to feel. So have no fear that you might injure him or 
cause him any pain whatever. He is use to it.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“But, my dear boy, I hope it is not your intention to 
have me strike the Professor even the slightest blow ?” 

Dick—“In order to derive a clear idea, Dr. Stubbs, of the brutality 
that developes in a ‘round,’ as it is termed, it will be necessary to 
strike the heaviest blow you are capable of. Then you will see how 
easy it is for absolutely sane contestants to lose their heads and become 
more like mad men in the end, inflicting upon each other most brutal 
punishment. There is the point you desire to reach, Dr. Stubbs, and 
there is the best and only method for reaching it properly. Strike out 
and do not be afraid.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Well, well, Mr. Mason, if vou think best I will do so, 
but”— 

Dick—“Of course you are not supposed to know the science of hit¬ 
ting dazing blows, but do the best you can. The Prof, has had his 
instructions and he will understand it all.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, my dear boy, I hope he will.” (Enter Prof. 
Wade.) “We are quite ready to commence then, are we not?” 


27 


Dick—“-Yes, we are all ready, and this is your opponent, Prof. 
Wade, Dr. Stubbs.” 

Dr. Stubbs (turning to shake the Professor’s hand)—“My dear sir, 

I am delighted to see you. I”—(recognizing him.) “Why—I”— 

Prof. Wade—“Seen me before, eh?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Sh—sh—why—er—yes, sir, I—er—I have seen you 
somewhere, ves, sir.” 

Prof. Wade—“Well, ow did ver make hout hon de smoke, eh?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“O mv dear sir, don’t sav anything more, I beg of you, 
don’t”—(giving him a bank note.) “Here, take this.” 

Prof. Wade—“Tanks. We’ll ’ave anodder bun w’en de biz his 
hover.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“O Professor, don’t expose me to this man. He must 
not know that I have seen him.” (Giving him more money.) “Here 
your shall have all the change you want, but don’t speak of this again, 

I beg of you don’t, don’t, don’t.” (Turns away.) 

Prof. Wade—“This is a regular pud, eh fellers?” (Rolls money up 
and puts in pocket.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Let us commence at once, Mr. Mason. It is getting 
late.” 

Dick—“Whenever you say. Dr. Stubbs, I am ready to call time, but 
I would suggest first that vou remove vour cuffs and neckwear. You 
can manage so much better, you know.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“You think it is necessary I”— 

Prof. Wade—“Take em hoff or dev’ll get soiled.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, perhaps I better, I will.” (Removing cuffs 
and collar.) 

Dick—“And your coat, Dr. Stubbs, will be right in the way.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“But, my dear boy, I”— 

Prof. Wade—“Take it hoff.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“O yes, I am going to.” (Removes coat.) 

Prof. Wade—“And de vest wid it.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“O don’t, don’t. Professor!” 

Prof. Wade—“I’ll give dis man a pointer”— 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, I will.” (Removing vest. Aside.) “This 
is outrageous.” 

Dick—“Now I guess we are ready.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, I hope so, I hope so.” 

Prof. Wade—“Look er ’ere, I ain’t in de ’abit of puttin’ bon de mits 
wid dem wots wears a shinny front ter dazzel me eyes. Show yer 
makin’ now an’ take hoff dat shirt.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Sir, this is going too far. I cannot and shall not 


28 


yield to this last request. Mr. Mason, I beseech of you—on mv knees 
I beg of you to end these outrageous proceedings at once. Will you 
not?” (Dick is silent.) 

Rose (behind screen to Belle)--- 14 Belle, I cannot stand this any 
longer.” (She is quieted by Belle.) 

Dick—“Dr. Stubbs, I am afraid you take this matter too much at 
heart. You appear as if your conscience troubled you.” 

Dr. Stubbs-— 44 It does, it does ; I did not expect this What if my 
wife knew of this? What if this should reach the ears of the public? 
O, Mr. Mason, stop it now, stop it now.” 

Rose—-“O dear, I wish I was home.” (Belle quiets her again.) 

Prof. Wade— 44 Look er ’ere, hold fuddv duddv, you’d make a ’orse 
weep. Get hup hoffer dose beggar pans an’ take hoff dat shirt. I’ll 
give yer two jiffs ter do hit. Hif yer don’t I’ll tell dis Mason man dat 
you an’ de Professor went around de corner for a”— 

Dr. Stubbs—“O, O don’t, don’t. Yes, yes, I will. I’ll do anything 
but don’t say it.” (Starts for screen.) “I’ll go behind here.” (Dick 
and the Professor jump to stop him.) 

Dick—“Not there.” 

Prof. Wade—“Yer’ll scare de chickens hif yer go in dare. Take hit 
hoff ’ere. De two jiffs is most hup.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“O yes, yes, I will.” (Takes off shirt.) 

Dick—“Now I guess we are ready. Dr. Stubbs take a seat in this 
corner; Prof. Wade there.” (Both men are seated. Dick throws one 
pair of gloves to the Professor and assists Dr. Stubbs on with the other.) 
“The first thing to do, Dr. Stubbs, is to meet your opponent in the 
center of the ring and shake hands with him as a sign of friendship. 
It will not be a round contest, gentlemen. Two rings of the bell mean 
commence. When I think you have played enough 1 will ring once and 
each man take his seat. Remember, gentlemen, this is to be a friendly 
contest, and I shall not be responsible for the consequences if you allow 
your tempers to rule. Now, then, we will commence.” (Ding, ding. 
Both men meet in the center and shake hands. Prof. Wade jumps back 
into position. Dr. Stubbs makes an awkward dodge and exclaims 
“Oh!”) 

Dr. Stubbs—“My dear Mr. Mason, will you please wait a moment? 
I haven’t the slightest idea what to do first.” 

Dick—“Do just as the Professor does. Put up your hands to ward 
off his blows and when you get a chance strike him. Now we will com¬ 
mence again.” (Ding, ding. Dr. Stubbs hesitates.) 

Prof. Wade—“Put up your dukes.” 

Dr. Stubbs—‘‘One moment, one moment. What do .you mean by 
putting up your dukes, Professor?” 

Dick—“Your hands. Dr. Stubbs put up your hands.” 


29 


Prof. Wade—‘‘Yes, put them hup quick.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“0 yes, yes, I will.” (Both men stand in position.) 

Dick—“Now we will commence again, and Prof. Wade you will 
please give Dr. Stubbs the starting blow. Then he will understand how 
it is done.” (Ding, ding. Both men go at it. Dr. Stubbs is very 
awkward. The Professor jumps around considerable and after a while 
strikes the Doctor a severe body blow.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“O, Mr. Mason, one moment.” 

Dick—-“Can’t wait any longer. It is getting late.” (Dr. Stubbs 
rushes in at Wade and puts his arms around him.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“One moment, 1 beg of you.” 

Dick—“Well, what is it?” 

Dr. Stubbs (breaking away from the Professor)—“He struck me too 
hard. Instruct him differently.” 

Dick-—“Prof. Wade, the next time, strike him so hard he won’t feel 
it.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, that’s right.” 

Dick—“This is the last time we commence. Be on your guard, 
gentlemen.” (Ding, dong. Both men in position.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, what would my wife say?” (Both men begin to 
box, and suddenly a horse and cab is heard coming down the street. 
They all stop to listen. Presently Jack’s voice is recognized.) 

Jack (from outside)—“Whoa!” 

Mrs. Stubbs (outside)—“I can’t believe it, Jack—I can’t believe it.” 
(Enter Jack and Mrs. Stubbs. The girls come from behind screen, 
Dr. Stubbs rushes in behind it and is looking over the top at his wife 
and others.) 

CURTAIN. 


ACT III. 


(Scene —Should represent drawing room, as in Act I. Large center 
table with cloth sufficient size to go down all around. Enter Dick and 
Dr. Stubbs hurriedly. Dr. Stubbs is dressed as he escapes from the 
club room—thin gauze shirt, Rose’s bonnet and cape on, and the gloves 
still on his hands. Both men very much pressed for breath and Dr. 
Stubbs groaning distressfully, exclaiming at short intervals, “O dear!”) 

Dick (as he enters)—“Quick ! You must get dressed before she sees 
you.” (Running the Doctor across the stage two or three times. To 
left.) “Inhere!” (William begins singing loudly as they near the 
door.) “William’s there.” (Going to right.) “Try this wav. quick!” 
(As they near this door Biddy begins to sing loudly.) “Stop! The 
maid is coming.” (Turning back.) “Fly!” (Dr. Stubbs groaning 
all the while. Trying center.) “Out this way, quick!” (Turning 
back.) “Too late, too late. She is right here. What shall we do? 
What shall we do?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“I don’t know ! I don’t know !” 

Dick (looking aronnd)—“If there was only some place where I could 
hide you.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“If there was ! If there was !” 

Dick (mimicking the Doctor)—“Yes; if there was! If there was! 

Mrs. Stubbs (outside)—“O you villian ! You villian !” 

Dr. Stubbs (groaning)—“O dear ! O dear ! O dear ! I have sinned ! 
I have sinned !” 

Mrs. Stubbs (at left)—“0 you villian ! Where are you?” 

Dick—“Here, get behind this picture, quick!” (Dr. Stubbs gets 
behind easel that holds picture of St. Joseph. Accidently he knocks 
picture from frame and not having time to replace it, tries to pose like 
the picture, while Dick jumps for a chair and pretends to read just as 
Mrs. Stubbs enters left.) 

Mrs. Stubbs (entering left)—“Where are you, you villian? You 
have deceived me. This is pretty work. Where is mv husband, 
Mr. Mason?” 

Dick (jumping up)—“He went out that door just a moment ago, 
Mrs. Stubbs.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“This door?” (Pointing to center.) 

Dick—“Yes, Mrs. Stubbs, that door.” 


31 


Mrs. Stubbs (going out center)— u O to confront him with his vil- 
liany.” (Hr. Stubbs groans and tries to replace picture but on account 
of the gloves is unable to.) 

Dick (following Mrs. Stubbs to door)—“I really wish you might, 
Mrs. Stubbs. I think he deserves it.” (To the Doctor who is still 
posing.) “You have broken the picture. Dr. Stubbs. You can’t stay 
there.” (Dr. Stubbs groans.) “What shall 1 do with you?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“I don’t know ! I don’t know ! Oh, I have sinned !” 


Dick (laughing, aside)—“He’s a pretty looking St. Joseph.” (To 
Dr. Stubbs.) “Here, get under this table, quick !” (Dr. Stubbs starts 
for table and gets half way across stage when lie hears Mrs. Stubbs’ 
voice.) 


Mrs. Stubbs—“Oh, you villian, where are you.” 

Dick—“Get back ; she is coming!” (Dr. Stubbs gets behind picture 
again and goes to posing. Dick jumps for book and reads as she 
enters.) 

Mrs. Stubbs—“He is no where to be seen. Are you sure he did not 
come back, Mr. Masou?” 


Dick—“Well, uow, Mrs. Stubbs, he might have come back when 1 
was not looking. Perhaps he went in there.” (Pointing to left.) 

Mrs. Stubbs —“Oh, Mr. Mason, this is terrible, terrible! What am 
I going to do?” 

Dick—“I really don’t know what you can do, Mrs. Stubbs. He 
ought to be dealt with severely. Perhaps if we could persuade the 
Board of Missionaries to do some work at home before going into the 
depths of China to search for subjects, it would be better for us all, 
and help us greatly in this case.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“That is true, but”—(exit right.) “Oh, you deceit¬ 
ful old thing, Phineas Stubbs! If I ever find you”—(L)r. Stubbs 
groans.) 

Dick (aside)—“It will be a terrible thing, I guess, if she once gets 
her hands in his hair.” (To Dr. Stubbs.) “Quick, now! under the 
table !” (Dr. Stubbs gets under table and Dick sits in chair beside him 
and pretends to read.) 

Dr. Stubbs (poking head out from under table)—“Is she coming?” 

Dick (hitting him on head with book)—“Yes, she is. Get under 
there!” (Aside mimicing Dr. Stubbs.) “Is she coming!” 

Mrs. Stubbs (entering left)—“He is not there either. I—Mr. 
Mason, what have you under that table? I saw it move.” 

Dick—“Why, Mrs. Stubbs, on my way home I found a half starved 
dog in the street.” (Dr. Stubbs barks like a dog.) “I took pity on the 
poor little thing and brought him home and put him under this table so 
he would not run away, intending to give him something to eat when 
you came.” (Dr. Stubbs barks. Mrs. Stubbs goes towards table.) 


32 


“Look out for him, Mrs. Stubbs. I am a bit suspicious of that dog. 
He might bite you.” (Dr. Stubbs barks.) 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Mr. Mason, a barking dog never bites, and further¬ 
more I recognize that dog’s bark. Phineas Stubbs, come out from 
under that table.” (She takes him bv the ear and pulls him out. 
Dick exit, center.) 

Dr. Stubbs (on his knees groaning)—“Oh, I have sinned ! I have 
sinned ! O dear, I have sinued !” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Yes, you have sinned. This is your meeting of 
Professors, is it, Phineas Stubbs?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“No, no, my dear, no, no. I have sinned ! I repent, 
my dear, I repent!” 

Mrs. Stubbs—‘■•You repent! Phineas Stubbs, who would listen to 
repentance? Did you not tell me in cold blood you were going to a 
meeting of the Professors in Berkshire Chapel?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, my dear, yes. It was a falsehood. Oh, I have 
sinned ! I repent! I shall die !” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“You have played your part well, Phineas Stubbs. 
You have been deceiving me, but it is a long game that has no end. 
You are a pretty looking man. How did 3 7 ou come by Rose’s bonnet 
and cape?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, my deat\ I don’t know, I don’t know.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Y"ou don’t know?” (Taking them from him and 
placing on table.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“No, my dear. My things were not at hand and in my 
hurry I took them from Mr. Mason. Oh, I have sinned !” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Yes, telling me an untruth did not satisfy you, so 
you tried to escape and hide from me. You are a nice husband.” (Dr. 
Stubbs groans.) “You are a villian, Phineas Stubbs- -that’s what you 
are, and you will have to make great amends for these actions.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, my dear, I will, I will.’ 

Mrs. Stubbs-—“You will ! This is a nice corner to get into. Go and 
dress yourself. Phineas Stubbs, I am ashamed of you, I am ashamed 
of you. Remove those horrible things from your hands.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“But my dear, I can’t get them off.” (Holding out 
hands to his wife.) 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Who put them on you?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Mr. Mason, my dear, Mr. Mason. 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Then let Mr. Mason take them off; I will not touch 
them. Leave this room before the girls come in and see you in this dis¬ 
graceful condition.” 

Dr. Stubbs (holding out hands)—“But my dear, I can’t do a thing.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Go, I tell you.” (Dr. Stubbs starts for left. Mrs. 


33 


Stubbs throws herself into a chair.) “This is disgraceful, disgraceful. 

1 could cry. No! I will not allow myself to grieve over such evil as 
this. I will fight grief down and bring this deceitful husband of mine 
to such repentence he will never forget.” 

Dr. Stubbs (at door)—“My dear, 1 ask your forgiveness.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Phineas Stubbs, wait until I have settled with you 
before you ask my forgiveness.” (Dr. Stubbs groans and exits ) 

Mrs. Stubbs (soliloquizing)—“Such disgrace as this I have never 
dreamed of. Has my husband gone crazy? Can it be possible he has 
lost his senses and knows not what he is doing. What does it mean? 
Is seems as if his high blown pride has taken a sudden downfall and 
carried with it all within him that was good and holy. And this is not 
the worst. He would r -b my poor brother’s children of their inherit¬ 
ance, just to gratify his selfish, grasping nature. Oh, this is more than 
I can bear—robbery, crime, disgrace, and my husband is the perpetra¬ 
tor. Why has he done it? Why has the sacredness of this household 
been marred by such disgrace? Oh, I cannot understand it, I cannot 
understand it. Phineas Stubbs, you, whom I have loved, reverenced 
and trusted always, dare carry on such devilish work as this? O no, I 
must be dreaming. 1 can’t believe it. I must not believe it. It will drive 
me to distraction if I do.” (Hesitating, calmly.) “Yet it is true, too 
true and too terrible to think of. What could be worse? Death? No! 
Death would be better—yes, far better. The sorrow of death could 
not compare with this living shame.” (Breaking down.) “Oh, it will 
kill me! It will kill me !” (Crying. Rallying suddenly.) “Phineas 
Stubbs, may my life be spared at length to see you severely punished 
for these misdeeds.” (Enter Rose, Belle, Jack and Dick.) 

Jack (holding Dr. Stubbs’ clothes)—“Here’s Uncle’s hat and cloth¬ 
ing, Aunty. Where is he?” 

Rose—“And where are my things, Auntie?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Your bonnet and cape are there on the table, Rose. 
Your uncle is in his room, Jack. 1 will send his wearing apparel to 
him. 

j ac k—“Yes, Auntie, do so. No doubt he would like his coat to put 
on if he intends to show himself again this evening.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Show himself this evening? I should think he would 
be ashamed to ever show himself again after these disgraceful actions. 
I would be ashamed of him anyway.” 

BePe—“You must not be too hard on him, Mrs. Stubbs. Perhaps 
he has had punishment enough to cause him to come forth to confession 
as soon as he is in a condition to do so.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“A simple confession will not satisfy me, Belle; 
though if there is a bit of man left in him he will confess his sins openly 
and without any of my persuasion. Right is right with me, Belle, and 
wrong is wrong, and such odious vice as my husband has committed 



34 


I cannot easily overlook. He lias disgraced us all.” (Mrs. Stubbs 
breaks down and exits.) 

Belle—“Jack, the poor woman is broken hearted,” 

Rose—“Yes, it is a down right shame, too. She will not get over 
this for a long time, if she ever does. It is too bad.” 

Jack—“That is true, Rose, but do you not think we have done the 
best thing, even if it does cause her grief. Is it not better to drive 
Uncle to the wall before he carries out such rash schemes as he would 
have ?” 

Rose—“Why, of course it is better, Jack, but I do pity Auntie so.” 

Belle—“That will be all right in time, Rose. She is quite overcome 
with excitement now, you koow.” 

Jack—“Why yes; when I assisted her from the carriage she was 
trembling just like a leaf. I tried to persuade her not to go in at once 
to see Uncle, but she would not listen to me. She would find him then, 
and I am thinking when she succeeded she made life a bit miserable for 
him.” 

Rose—“And all on account of Mr. Mason.” 

Dick—“Oh, of course, if anything bad comes of this, it will be laid 
at my door, and Miss Rose will be the first to speak of it, too. 

Jack—“Not so, old boy. Rose is just plagueing you. It is not 
possible for anything but good to come of it. Time will prove that. 
And moreover this is my rumpus, not yours, and it is I who will carry 
the blame of a bad ending.” 

Belle—“And Rose, I think it is your place to thank Mr. Mason, not 
chide him. This concerns your own welfare, and even if it turns out 
unfavorable for you, you should feel grateful towards him for the manly 
effort he has made in your behalf.” 

Rose—“Why, Belle, I appreciate what Mr. Mason has done.” 

Belle—“You really don’t appear that wav.” 

Rose—“I don’t care, I feel as gratefully as any one could, and I 
show my appreciation as much as I can under the circumstances.” 
(Blushing. Belle turns away.) 

Dick—“Circumstances make great differences sometime, don’t they, 
Miss Rose?” 

Rose—“Of course they do.” 

Jack—“Yes, of course they do, and I quite understand Rose. She 
is not possessed of a gushing nature. It is not she to throw her arms 
about one’s neck for favors done her even if she would like to.” 

Rose (indignantly)—“That is an insinuation, is it, Jack?” 

Jack—“Ha! ha! Shall I call it that?” (Rose is silent with an 
indignant air.) “Silence says yes.” 

Rose—“Mr. Mason, please accept my thanks for your favors.” 


35 


Dick-—“With pleasure, Miss Rose. (Jack laughs heartily.) 

Belle (at center door)— ,k O Rose come and see the moon. It is 
rising. See how big and beautiful it looks.” (Rose goes.) 

Dick (aside to Jack) — “I’ll get even with you for that.” 

Jack—“Ha! ha! ha! Come Dick let us go too and see the moon 
rise.” (Both step back to center. Rose and Jack return together. 
Rose is weeping.) “Why, my dear girl what is the matter?” 

Rose (crying)—“I—I think you—you are just as me-mean as you 
can be.” 

Jack—“Why, Rose, dear girl, please forgive me. I wouldn’t have 
said what I did for the world if I had known you were going to take it 
this way. I only meant it for a joke anyway. Dick took it that way 
and I thought you would do the same.” 

Rose (crying)—“I don’t li-like that ki-kind of joking.” 

Jack—“Well, my dear sister, I am very sorry I said anything to 
make you feel like this. Now I apologize for it all and I will be more 
careful in the future what I say. Let’s make up now. Dry those 
tears.” (Kisses her.) “Now we are friends.” 

Rose—“Yes—yes, Jack, we—we are.” 

Jack—“I thought so, Rose. You and I have always been friends 
and we never must be enemies. Poor father and mother would not 
rest in peace if we quarreled.” 

Rose—“This is not a quarrel Jack.” 

j ac k—“I know it Rose, but it might lead to one and we are too 
much to each other to allow that to step between us.” 

Rose (throwing her arms about his neck)—“Yes Jack, we are.” 

Jack (looking into her eyes)—“Somehow you don’t look natural this 
evening.” 

Rose—“Why Jack, what’s the matter with me?” 

jack—“I don’t know. Seems as if something was missing about 
you.” 

Rose (looking herself over)—“Why, I wonder what it is.” 

jack—“Oh, I know. You have lost that big rose you are in the 
habit of wearing right there.” (Putting hand on her neck.) 

Rose—“So I have.” (Looking around on the floor.) 

jack—“Never mind, you shall have another and Dick shall get it 
for you.” (To Dick.) “Dick will you please go to the garden and 
get {he prettiest and sweetest rose you can find for my sister?” 

Dick—“With the greatest of pleasure, Jack.” 

Rose—“You are very kind, Mr. Mason.” 

Dick—“Not at all Miss Rose.” (Bowing, exits left-center.) 

jack—“And let us all go to the terrace where we can enjoy the 
bright moonlight.” (Turning down light.) “When Dick returns he 


36 


will find us there.” (Exit Jack, Rose and Belle, right-center. Enter 
Dr. Stubbs, left.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Well!” (Looking around.) “Well! Well!” (Walk¬ 
ing around.) “It appears to be verv calm after the storm. A nice 
little plot of Jack’s concoction to expose me to my wife. We will see. 
It is all plain to me now, and if that friend Dick does not get his ticket- 
of-leave to-morrow then Phineas Stubbs does not understand his busi¬ 
ness. Jack has displayed a revengeful feeling and evidently intends to 
make me suffer for what he believes I have done—lost his money. But 
he will find out that his Uncle Phineas is just as cunning as himself.” 
(Looking around the room.) “I wonder where they have all gone to.” 
(Looking out the door.) “There seems to be no one astir without.” 
(Coming back.) Judging from my own feelings they all must be quite 
weary from over exertion and excitement. Possibly they have retired. 
One thing certain—I don’t think my wife will bother me again 
to-night. To-morrow she will have subdued her passion and will listen 
to my pleadings.” (Thoughtfully.) “Yes, listen to them and forgive 
me perhaps. But will her forgiveness cleanse my polluted soul and free 
my conscience of this hellish sting?” (A quartet sings some familiar 
song behind scenes and Dr. Stubbs listens quietly until finished ; then 
he walks to the window.) “They seem to be enjoying themselves.” 
(Looking up at the moon.) “O beautiful moon, thy maker is my 
maker. Thou hast a still and quiet conscience; mv conscience is 
troubled and weighs like a burden upon me. Why am I not like thee, 
O sinless moon? Why canst I not shine with purity as dost thou? I 
ask thee this question, yet I can answer it for thee—thou hast abided 
by God’s laws; I have broken them and am unworthy of His blessings. 
Y r es, unworthy of them. I am a poor, miserable wretch trampled to 
earth to be hated and despised by everybody. Oh, could I go back 
once more to my youth, when life had no cares. When fear ruled over 
sin, and happiness reigned supreme within my heart. But such a wish 
is a vain one. That time can never come again. I must not look back 
upon it, but go on and make the best of my lot.” (Turning up light.) 
“Well! well! my wife has found me out at last. She has discovered 
that her dear, dear husband is the most sinful man in all the world. It 
is terrible, terrible to be so wicked, and to think that she became the 
wiser through the efforts of that smart young nephew, actually causing 
me much vexation.” (Enter Mrs. Stubbs.) “To-morrow she shall be 
made to think that I am not so wicked as she believes me to be now.” 
(Turns and sees her.) O my dear—er—I—you here?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“I should say I was, Phineas Stubbs, but don’t mind 
me. Go on with your little soliloquy.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh—I—you—I was just trying to make clear to my 
mind the”— 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Don’t you dare to tell me another falsehood.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“No, no, my dear, no, no. I am not going to. I”— 


37 


Mrs. Stubbs—‘‘Sav nothing then !” 

Dr. Stubbs—“O yes, yes. 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Saying that you are not going to tell me a falsehood, 
and then telling one---for you are not capable of telling the truth—is 
telling two in the same breath, and I am not in a mood to receive them 
as fast as that.” 

Dr. Stubbs—‘‘You judge me wrongly, my dear—you judge me 
wrongly, wrongly.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“How can you say that, Phineas Stubbs, when you 
would make me think you are not so wicked as I believe you to be.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“That is not what I meant, my dear.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“You lie ! It is just what you meant.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“No, no, my dear.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Hold your tongue! Or I will ring for William and 
have you locked in your room.” (Dr. Stubbs groans.) “And there 
you will remain until I am ready to let you out again.” (Dr. Stubbs 
groans.) “Sit down in that chair!” (Dr. Stubbs takes chair by the 
table.) (Aside.) “If he has a confession to make he will make it 
now.” (To. Dr. Stubbs.) “You are a pretty example of a man— 
you. my husband, a minister in the pulpit with a lying tongue and a 
villian’s demeanor, teaching the word of God”—(groans i---“to inno¬ 
cent minds, ignorant of the fact that it comes from the mouth of the 
very devil himself.” (Loud groans.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, don’t, don’t; this is terrible, this is terrible.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“It is no more than you deserve, Phineas Stubbs—no 
more than you deserve. Rightly you should be exposed to the public 
and let justice take its course with you.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh my dear, do you mean that I should go to prison?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“That’s where you belong.” (Dr. Stubbs rises.) “Sit 
down in that chair and wait until I have finished.” (Dr. Stubbs is 
seated.) “What have you to say for yourself?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Why should I go to prison, my dear? I have not 
committed any criminal offence.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“No, but you would have had you not been found out 
in your little scheme just in time to prevent it.” (Dr. Stubbs rising.) 
“Sit down in that chair I tell you!” (Dr. Stubbs seated.) “Now 
what have you to say for yourself?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“My dear, I really don’t know what you mean.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Phineas Stubbs, do you pretend not to know what I 
mean ?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, my dear, yes.” (Mrs. Stubbs walks away very 
much agitated.) 

Dr. Stubbs (rising, aside)—“I wonder how much she knows?” 


38 


Mrs. Stubbs—“Phineas Stubbs, sit down in that chair and don’t you 
get up again until I say so! Do you deny having attempted to rob 
Rose of her share of the estate?” 

Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“How did she know this?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Speak! do you deny that? And if you answer me 
falsely”— 

Dr. Stubbs—“No, no, my dear, I do not deny it. I confess that I 
did, .but do not call it robbery. The sound of that word is like a 
dagger piercing my heart.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Ah ! That is just what I want, Phineas Stubbs. I 
am glad I have found something with which to torture you. 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, don’t, my dear, don’t, don’t. This will kill me— 
this will kill me.” (Throwing head on table.) 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Far better were you in your grave than go on in this 
way.” (Groans.) “But are you not afraid you will die? Think what 
you will have to account for.” (Groans.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, don’t, don’t, my dear. This will drive me crazy— 
crazy.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“What if Rose’s dead father and mother should rise 
out of their graves and demand an explanation of this foul deed? 
What would you tell them ?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“I don’t know—I don’t know.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Would you dare to utter falsehoods to them?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“No, no, my dear, no, no.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Then why shame me with such deception ! Is it not 
just as sinful. I ask you?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, my dear, it is—it is. I have sinned! I have 
sinned ! Forgive me ! Forgive me !” 

Mrs. Stubbs (walking away)—“It is not my place to forgive such 
sin as this, Phineas Stubbs ; but of Him you should ask forgiveness. 
I can only overlook, and I will overlook, but under one condition.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“And that, my dear?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“That you tell me the truth about Jack’s money !” 

Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“Jack’s money !” They are still in ignorance 
of this, it seems. They shall remain so.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Was it truly lost in the downfall of the American 
mines?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, my dear, it was.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Then prove to me that you are telling the truth. 
Can you do it?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, my dear. I have in my study a letter written by 
the treasurer of that company expressing his regrets and explaining in 
detail the loss of Jack’s money.” 


39 


Mrs. Stubbs—“Phineas Stubbs, I would like to examine that letter. 
Will you go and bring it that I may see for myself?” 

Dr. Stubbs (starting for the door)—“Certainly, my dear, certainly.’ 
(He is interrupted by the entrance of Belle, Rose, Dick and Jack.) 

Jack—“It is not necessary to see that letter, Auntie. I have some¬ 
thing here that will do just as well, and will prevent Uncle from getting 
deeper into the mire by showing something he has concocted for the 
occasion.” 

Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“What is this, I wonder?” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Why Jack, what do you mean?” 

Jack—“I mean that Uncle Phineas has told you another lie.” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Can it be possible?” 

Jack—“And this letter he is about to show you—if he has one to 
show—is forged.” 

Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“Forged!” 

Mrs. Stubbs—“What have you to say at this, Phineas Stubbs?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Why, my dear, I—er—do you suppose”— 

Jack—“Oh, don’t try to crawl out of it now, you old reprobate. I 
have mot you where you can’t move a checker. Sit down in that chair 
and I will show you.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“But Jack, give me time to explain. I”— 

Jack—“Sit down in that chair.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, 3 7 es, yes.” 

Jack—“When I have finished with you, then you can explain if you 
wish.” (Dr. Stubbs is seated. Jack seats himself at the other side of 
the table.) “Ahem ! Now then we will proceed to have a nice, little, 
quiet, agreeable and very interesting business talk.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Well, well, Jack, go on—go on.” 

Jack—“Then } t ou are anxious to meet your fate, are you?” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Well, go on, my dear boy, go on.” 

Jack—“Go on, my dear boy, go on ! Say, Uncle, you remind me of 
a snake. And why didn’t I see you when you coiled to strike? You 
old vampire, you ! I believe you’d suck the very life blood out of me 
if you could see a penny in it.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, don’t, Jack, don’t! This is cruel! This is cruel!” 

Jack—“Cruel! Ha ! ha ! This isn’t cruel, Uncle. This is fun, and 
we are going to have some more of it right away.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“But Jack, I wish you would begin with your business, 
which, I presume, is about Rose’s property.” 

Jack—“Well, no, not wholly Rose’s property. You know you owned 
up to having tried to rob her of it, but—oh, of course we will touch on 
that subject now and then ; but this is another matter I have been 
wishing to talk with you about for some time back.” 


40 


Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“I wonder if he means the money.” (To 
Jack.) “Well, I am listening.” 

jack—“Oh, are you? Excuse me. Ahem! We will begin then. 
Did you ever hear of a very rich company in America called the Ameri¬ 
can Bell Telephone?” 

Dr. Stubbs (aside)—“Bell Telephone!” 

Jack—“Oh, you needn’t try to cover it up. You are as transparent 
as a bar of glycerine soap—and not half so clean. I can see your 
brand stamped on your very face, Phineas Stubbs, and if you don’t 
speak the truth”— 

Dr. Stubbs—“Yes, yes, Jack, I have heard of such a company.” 

Jack—“I thought you had. That’s why I asked, and anybody that 
ever read a newspaper has, of course. Now, then, see if you can 
answer the next question as truthfully as you did that one. Abem ! 
How long has my money been invested in this Bell Telephone 
Company ? 

Dr. Stubbs—“Your money invested in Bell Telephone, Jack?” 

Jack—“Yes, my money invested in Bell Telphone, Jack. 9 * 

Dr. Stubbs—“Who told you this?” 

Jack—“Nobody told me this.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Then what makes you think it is invested there?” 

Jack (showing certificate)—“That tells me, Phineas Stubbs!” 

Dr. Stubbs—“My God, Jack !” 

Jack—“Oh, I thought you would twinge at the sight of it.” (Mrs. 
Stubbs comes up to look at certificate and others draw closer around.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“Where did you get that certificate, Jack Dellford?” 

Jack—“Never mind where I got it, but it is a stock certificate, isn’t 
it? Made out to you and signed by the President of the American Bell 
Telephone. I know your game, you scoundrel. You sold the mine 
interest, withdrew my name under your guardianship, and reinvested in 
your own name in Belle Telephone. Then told me the money was lost. 
And only through your loving care and fatherly interest was I kept in 
college, and the estates retained. Oh, if I was not afraid of being 
poisoned I would bite you. You did not think I would find you out, 
did you? Well, Phineas Stubbs, I gave you credit for more sense than 
that. I never dreamed it would ever be my place to inform you—a 
man of your position in life—that such villiany as this is always found 
out; that there is a power stronger than the power of man, that will 
expose sooner or later his nasty deeds. Y r ou know it as well as I do, 
yet you go on until you have dropped to the level of liars and robbers.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“You stole this paper from me, Jack Dellford.” 

Jack—“You lie ! And if you utter those words again I will put you 
where all criminals should be put. I sent Dick into the garden to get 
my sister a rose. As he was crossing the driveway his eyes fell upon a 


41 


dark object on the ground. It proved to be an empty pocket book. 
He picked it up and brought it back to the terrace where I was talking 
with the girls. Rose recognized it as being yours.” (Gives him pocket 
book.) “We all went back to the place where Dick found it, and 
there, by the aid of the moonlight, I found the money that/s in it and 
that certificate. A little farther on Belle found”— 

Belle—“Some private papers, I presume, Dr. Stubbs.” (Places 
letters on table.) 

Rose—“And a little way from there I found your handkerchief and 
this cigar.” (Mrs. Stubbs screams.”) 

Prof. Wade (entering with a rush)—“Dat’s de one I give Mm.” 
(Puts cigar in pocket.) 

Mrs. Stubbs—“Does he smoke, too?” 

Prof. Wade-—“Does he smoke, too? Hif he don’t smoke in dis 
world, Missus, he will in de next, so don’t yer feel bad.” (To Dr. 
Stubbs.) “Look er ’ere now, cuffy, I didn’t tomp yer ’alf ’ard ’nough 
at de club an’ now hif yer don’t just trow hup dat bill wot’s goin’ ter 
put de shutters on de biz I’ll keep right hon tompin’ an’ I’ll blow hon 
yer ter hevery newspaper in London.” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, sir, don’t do that. I will give it up, I swear it! 
I’ll have nothing more to do with it, but don’t do that.” 

Prof. Wade— “Dat’s all right den, an’ I’ll just keep mum for de sake 
of dese people wot you’ve caused all de trouble ; but remember if I 
’ear of dat bill again I’ll do yer so well done yer won’t hever git undone, 
eh fellers!” 

Dr. Stubbs—“Oh, Jack ! Jack 1” 

Jack—“Don’t you speak to me, Phineas Stubbs. You are a villian, 
an outrage and a curse to this household. You have done enough 
already to put you behind prison bars. Never again will I own you as 
my Uncle, and if Auntie does the right thing you will no longer remain 
as her husband.” (Dr. Stubbs turns to his wife on one knee, hands 
outstretched, strikes a pleading attitude.) 

Mrs. Stubbs (pointing to center door)—“Go! Whatsoever a man 
soweth , that shall he also reap” (Dr. Stubbs walks reluctantly to the 
door, turns and raises hands heavenward.) 

Dr. Stubbs—“God in Heaven have mercy.” (Exit, followed by his 
wife.) 

B e p e —“Poor woman ! Jack, she will never get over this to the 
longest day she lives.” 

Jack—“No, Belle, I don’t think she will.” 

Bose_“And I don’t believe Uncle will ever forget this memorable 

evening. Do you, Mr. Mason?” 

j)i c k_“No, Rose, I don’t think he will, and you and your brother”— 

Rose—“What of us?” 


42 


Dick—“What of you? Why see how it has turned out for you both. 
Your property saved.” (To Jack.) “And Jack, Bell Telephone will 
make you richer than dirt.” 

Jack—“Perhaps so, Dick.” (Drawing Belle to him.) “But I 
would not exchange this Belle for all the money Bell Telephone can 
produce.” 

(Prof. Wade makes love to his hat and cane.) 

Dick—“I believe it, Jack, I believe it. And while I think of it,” 
(drawing Rose to him), “this was the prettiest and sweetest Rose I 
could find in the garden.” 

Belle—“Why, Rose!” 

Jack—“Dick, you don’t mean it.” 

Dick—“Yes, I do. Don’t we, Rose?” 

Rose (sighing)—“I suppose so.” * 

Jack—“Accept my congratulations, both of you.” 

Belle—“And mine, too. This has been an evening of sorrow and 
happiness ; and Rose, who is to blame for it now?” 

Prof. Wade—“Excuse me, Missus, but yer can lay it to THE 
GLOVES.” (When curtain drops Jack and Belle on the right, Dick 
and Rose left, and Prof. Wade in center.) 


CURTAIN. 











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THE GLOYES. 


1 A COMEDY DRAMA IN THREE ACTS, j 


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BY 

NATE A. TEFFT. 


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Bangor Commercial Print. 1 

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